Best HTC Blog

Sometimes we laugh when we read people’s descriptions of phones. Sometimes we cry. But whether it’s fellow bloggers, official reviewers, or (best comedy gold of all) the phone manufacturers themselves and their assorted cohort of PR and marketing monkeys, you can pretty much be guaranteed first class bulls**t every day of the week. Take a look at some of these stonkers for the soon-to-be-released HTC Hero.

They say:
Peter Chou, Chief Executive Officer, HTC Corporation: “HTC Sense is a distinct experience created to make HTC phones more simple for people to use, leaving them saying, it just makes sense.”

We say:

No it isn’t, HTC Sense is the average user interface (not a freaking “user experience”) that is very pretty, runs smoothly, but doesn’t break any new kind of ground. And didn’t make us say anything about it making sense.

They say:
HTC press release, July 2009: “Today, staying in touch with the people in your life means managing a variety of communication channels and applications ranging from phone calls, emails, texts, photos, status updates and more. HTC Sense takes a different approach by integrating these communication channels and applications into one single view enabling you to stay closer to your important people.”

We say:
No it doesn’t. This kind of thing already exists on, for example, the Nokia 5800. Why don’t you look up ‘new in the dictionary.

They say:
Online reviewer, July 2009:
“This intuitive one-hander isn’t shy with…”

We say:
Stop! Make it stop! We just spat coffee into the eyes of our cross-desker. The only intuitive one-handers who aren’t shy we know frequent the arches and seedy pubs of Kings Cross during the evening hours.

So there we have it. The HTC Hero isn’t a bad phone, by any means. In fact, it’s quite a good one. But beware, all you brave and intuitive one-handers out there. As you navigate things like this product overview, or this HTC Hero review, keep your wits about you. For there are many who shall try to fill your ears and eyes with bulls**t if you let them.

Ah, Google, is there anything you can’t do. Well, you probably couldn’t sort out our terrible financial situation, tidy our festering offices, or make the pretty barmaid in the local look at us with anything less than an unconcealed snarl. However, we forgive you, because there are so many things you can actually do that make us love you. And now you come in phone-sized packages and it makes us love you all the more. Fair enough, the G1 has been out for a while now, but that was kind of clunky and, well, clunky, so we’re happy to ignore that. But now we have the shiny new HTC Magic to play with you on, and it makes us giddy.

Giddy because, according to the  HTC Official page, we can use you to …”find the coolest café in your city right from your Home screen with Google Search. Take a virtual tour of Barcelona with 360º panoramas using Google Maps with Street View. Or start up Google Talk to chat with your friend about the music video you just saw on YouTube…”

Erm, right, yeah, no. Giddy more because we can use the HTC Magic to find out how late the nearest pub in the city we never leave is open, take a virtual tour of the area surrounding the pub using Street View to find a decent looking kebab house then fail to convince the barmaid that we’re far better company on Google Chat than we are in real life. But anyway you get the idea, it’s everything that Google do well, on a phone. And, now without the G1’s kind of pointless keyboard, all delivered to you in a slim, lightweight format. Everyone’s a winner, right? Right. Read this HTC Magic Review for some other-than-Google facts. And does anyone fancy a Google Chat? No? Ah, screw you all.